The Tester, The Tested, and the Outcry
***Marriage is not a tribal obligation
By Ezekiel Ibok
Barely 24 hours after my traditional marriage ceremony, I have witnessed unsettling narratives circulating on social media. Some claim that Oron young men no longer marry Oron ladies. Others go as far as declaring that I should be the last person to marry outside Oron. Let me be clear: such narratives are misguided, divisive, and utterly irrelevant.
Marriage is not a tribal obligation. It is a deeply personal commitment between two individuals who choose to share their lives based on love, mutual respect, and a shared vision for the future. It is not for self-appointed cultural gatekeepers or critics to dictate who anyone should marry.
I am an Oron man, and I take immense pride in my heritage. However, my marriage is my business. I married a woman—an Ibibio woman—who understands me, aligns with my values, and is committed to growing with me. This decision was not made to satisfy anyone’s fake tribal sentiments but to build a life-long partnership with someone who complements me in every way.
To those spreading these baseless narratives, I have one question: where were you when she was making sacrifices? When have you ever spoken up on issues critical to the progress of Oro people? You cannot claim to defend Oron interests while tearing down one of your own simply because of their marital choice. That is hypocrisy in its purest form—a selfish, irrelevant narrative.
Marriage is about commitment, not tribal affiliation. It is about finding someone who will stand by you through life’s trials and triumphs, not someone selected to fit into a false cultural expectation. Love knows no borders and bows to no parochial sentiments. My marriage to an Ibibio woman does not diminish my identity as an Oron man.
I will not tolerate attempts to weaponize my marriage to advance divisive and outdated agendas. To my fellow young men, I say this: marry where you find peace, respect, loyalty, understanding, and support. Do not be intimidated by the fake outrage or hypocrisy of those who, for their own reasons, seek to impose restrictions on your personal choices.
Some of those shouting the loudest have stayed well beyond the age of marriage, hiding behind claims of preserving culture while failing to demonstrate the values they preach. Let no one deceive you with such empty rhetoric. Marriage is a personal journey, and the only voices that matter are yours and your partner’s.
As for me, I will continue to stand firm in my decisions, unapologetically committed to my wife, my family and the progress of our people.
